The Invasion – It’s the second time he’s met the Doctor, and Lethbridge-Stewart has already been promoted from Colonel to Brigadier, and organised the creation of UNIT. While the Brigadier co-ordinates the attack on the Cybermen, the Doctor is off on a solo mission. Zoe might fret and worry about the Doctor’s wellbeing, but not the Brigadier – in a supremely British way, he rubbishes her fears and offers her a steadying drink. Tea.
The Three Doctors – Or “The Five Doctors”, or “Robot”, or any other time the Brigadier is exasperated by the Doctor. It’s the Second Doctor lamenting his lack of recorder with which to pass the time (“We must be thankful for small mercies,” says the Brigadier). Or his censure of the Fourth Doctor’s choice of outfits. Or pointing out that most of the trouble which comes his way is the Doctor’s fault. In this episode, it’s probably the moment that the Brigadier is willing to settle for keeping the Second Doctor rather than getting the Third one back, because one Doctor is very much the same as another as far as he’s concerned.
The Daemons – It’s probably the most iconic of Brigadier lines, with Nicholas Courtney using it as the title of his autobiography. Faced with an approaching alien, the Brigadier isn’t fazed. What’s a military man to do? Why, call for an inferior. “Jenkins. Chap with the wings there. Five rounds rapid.”
Battlefield – Facing an almost unbeatable enemy, the Doctor loads the Brigadier’s gun with silver bullets. But the Brig won’t let the Doctor do it alone. Instead, he chops the Doctor on the chest (somehow knocking him out), declaring that he is more expendable than the Time Lord. And then the Brigadier rushes off to do battle alone. He might not be the best champion the planet has to offer, but he does his best (and survives, because he’s not a stupid man).
Mawdryn Undead – Turlough’s not human, but he’s stuck on Earth. So when a mysterious man offers him the chance to escape, if he just kills the Doctor, Turlough agrees quite readily. But the Black Guardian didn’t choose his assassin that well. Turlough has the chance to bash the Doctor’s head in with a rock, but shows off some of worst rock-showing possible.
Enlightenment – To be honest, this could have come from any one of a number of episodes. Doctor Who gets a lot of flak for how it treats its female companions, especially in the earlier episodes, but no-one seems to mention how often Turlough ends up captured/kidnapped/generally chained up. In his group of companions, it’s generally Turlough who gets taken away by the maniac villain. In “Enlightenment”, that villain is Captain Wrack, played with great relish by Lynda Bellingham. She chains Turlough up, and wanders around menacing him sexily with a knife. It’s Turlough’s lot in life.
Frontios – Stranded on a distant in the far-distant future, with the TARDIS seemingly destroyed, the Doctor is being threatened by men with guns. There’s only one thing left for Turlough to do – grab a hatstand from the wreckage of the TARDIS and use that as a weapon. It’s pure luck that residual energy sparks off the hatstand, making it appear to be a lot more dangerous than a lump of wood. When in doubt, bluff your way out.
Planet of Fire – The TARDIS is in Lanzarote, and there’s a sexy woman who needs saving. Peri, soon to become the Doctor’s companion, has decided to go for a swim, and instead starts drowning. Turlough takes part in possibly the most begrudging rescue ever seen. It’s partly because he’s worried about his home planet finding him, but you’ve never seen anyone so disdainful of a girl in a bikini.
Let us know in the comments below!
And don't forget to pick up your UNIT pass from our store.