Teen Wolf returns this January, and if the recent ‘Lose Your Mind’ promos are any indication, it has ditched the campy werewolf fun in favour of being utterly horrifying. But before we delve into Season 3B, a recap on the story so far, for newcomers.
(Spoilers may follow. - Ed)
Scott McCall is a nerdy boy with asthma and a six-pack, who gets bitten by a werewolf while hunting for a dead body in the woods with his best bud Stiles. Stiles is the ADHD son of the local sheriff who is one of the best characters on all of television, and everyone’s main reason for watching the show. They discover Derek Hale, a werewolf whose entire family are dead except his comatose uncle. The dead body was his sister, killed to gain her status as Alpha werewolf. Stiles and Derek are all about finding out who the Alpha is, but Scott is more interested in how his new abilities make him better at playing lacrosse.
New girl in school, Allison Argent, is an archery prodigy whose family, unknown to her, are evil werewolf hunters. There’s also the popular genius girl, Lydia Martin, who Stiles crushes on but she’s dating arrogant jock Jackson, who is desperate to be a werewolf so he’ll be better at lacrosse too. Lacrosse is a big deal, you guys! Jackson’s best friend is gay lacrosse goalkeeper Danny, who isn’t plot-relevant at the moment but is great. By the end of season 1, we discover that the mystery Alpha is Derek’s crazy, not at all comatose Uncle Peter, and Allison’s psychopathic aunt Kate was responsible for murdering the Hale pack, after creepily seducing a teenage Derek. Peter escapes and bites Lydia, but for reasons so far unknown, she is immune to the bite. Peter kills Kate, Derek kills Peter, becoming the Alpha, and Allison finds out Scott’s a werewolf. The season ends with Derek finally giving Jackson the bite, for lacrosse.
A giant lizard (or Kanima) is roaming Beacon Hills, paralysing and murdering former members of the swim team (and while not murdered, poor Stiles gets paralysed twice.) Lydia is suspected, having survived the Alpha bite and started to go crazy as a result, but it turns out Jackson is the Kanima after his lacrosse-enhancing bite went wrong. He starts eating snakes and other gross things. Meanwhile, crazy Lydia starts hallucinating a lot and running naked around the woods, but no-one seems to notice. Allison’s grandfather has come to town, even more psychotic than Kate, and she is banned from seeing Scott. (However, according to her dad’s code, Scott won’t be hunted unless he kills a human.)
The Kanima, it transpires, has a master, a creepy stalker guy called Matt with a vendetta against the swim team for almost drowning him, who is making Jackson kill them against his will. Then Grandpa Argent actually does drown Matt to become the Kanima’s new master.
Over in Lydia’s messed-up head, her thoughts are being manipulated by the spirit of Peter Hale, who she somehow resurrects. Peter’s main resurrection purpose is to sass Derek into discovering how to defeat the Kanima. Meanwhile, poor Stiles is just trying to keep everyone alive but is briefly kidnapped. Allison begins to see reason and Grandpa’s master plan is revealed. He forces Derek to bite him so he won’t die of cancer, but Scott (along with his badass, shaman-like vet buddy, Deaton) has been secretly poisoning him with mountain ash, which is toxic to werewolves, leading to Grandpa growling “MOUNTAIN ASH!” in the hammiest way possible, before fleeing. Lydia saves Jackson from being a lizard through the Power of Love, and he becomes a real werewolf. Scott and Allison break up, and Scott goes off to be bros with Stiles. Meanwhile, Derek, Peter and Isaac talk ominously of an Alpha Pack, who have kidnapped Boyd and Erica!
We begin with an amnesiac Isaac, fleeing the twins from Desperate Housewives along with a mysterious woman. The twins are part of the Alpha Pack, and attack by transforming into one Werewolf Megazord, which requires them removing their shirts, but magically, their trousers blend into one. It’s ridiculous. When Isaac regains his memory, he reveals that the Alpha Pack, headed by blind English werewolf (or “Demon Wolf” as he screams hammily) Deucalion, and also containing Kali and some bald guy who doesn’t do much, have Boyd and Erica held hostage. Scott, Derek, and Stiles formulate an intricate plan to rescue them, whereas Allison, who is a badass, just walks in the front door. When they arrive, it turns out Erica is already dead, and the second wolf is Derek’s never-before-mentioned younger sister, Cora. We never find out where the hell Cora’s been all these years, or anything about her, really. The Alpha Pack’s plan is to recruit Derek by having him kill all his Betas, but the mysterious woman hints ominously that the True Alpha is Scott McCall.
On top of all this, virgins are being ritually sacrificed, and the only person who seems to care is Stiles (probably because he’s the only virgin). He later learns that the sacrifices are in groups of three, including virgins, guardians, teachers, warriors and another. Some people they know are even sacrificed, but still only Stiles and later Lydia bother to investigate. Lydia, who is still crazy, keeps turning up at the sites of all the ritual murders.
The Alpha Pack force Derek to accidentally kill Boyd, after which there’s a whole flashback episode giving Derek the pointless backstory of killing his teenage girlfriend, her blood giving life to the Darach (an evil druid performing the magical sacrifices) via a magic tree called the Nemeton. Also, surprise! Grandpa Argent is still alive, constantly spewing mountain ash, and responsible for blinding Deucalion and turning him evil.
Eventually, Jennifer Blake is revealed to be the Darach, because Derek can’t have nice things. Jennifer tells Lydia that she is a Banshee, in a revelation that surprises absolutely no-one, before trying to strangle her to death. Lydia survives, but Jennifer flees, kidnapping Sheriff Stilinski, Mama McCall and Papa Argent to be the final sacrifice of The Guardians. To find them, Deaton performs this weird ice-bath ritual with Scott, Allison and Stiles, the result being that the three of them will have a darkness around their hearts (as Deaton is essentially killing them and bringing them back to life.) At the same time, Cora has some mystical illness, and Peter convinces Derek that the only way to save her is to give up his Alpha status. Scott and Derek go for a final confrontation with both Jennifer and Deucalion, while Allison, Isaac and Stiles rescue the parents. For reasons unknown to me, they kill Jennifer but not Deucalion, and Scott is revealed as a True Alpha (an Alpha who didn’t gain his status by killing).
…and Jennifer isn’t actually dead. She’s crawling back to the Nemeton to heal herself, but Peter Hale catches up to her, killing her for real and screaming “I AM THE ALPHA! I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE ALPHA!” in an even more hammy fashion than the mountain ash and Demon Wolf lines. I love Peter Hale.