I neglected to mention the doll that made Rumple crumple up in sobs last week. Perhaps this development explains why we find him at the start of this episode hacking off his shadow, sending it on a mission to hide his dagger. And I doubt he has a travel sewing kit in his pockets to reattach it upon its return…
Neverland, as you may have guessed, is messing with everyone’s heads, overgrown jungle and all! Once Upon a Time uniquely turns our favourite stories on their heads – loveable tease Peter Pan has become a conniving, tricksy villain? Bad form, Peter!
Cue THAT music. And true love’s kiss. The Snow/Charming megamix of soppiness which makes we singletons cry out for alcohol, our onesies and that full bar of chocolate. We find the pair of star-crossed Disney characters rallying the troops to stand up to the Queen, with much nodding of the peasants’ heads, but no peasant action. Regina arrives on the scene, and following some peasant levitation and strangling, she gives Snow an ultimatum;
Choose exile or one of the dwarves die.
Charming’s plan to steal the Arthurian legend of Excalibur to re-convince Snow of her resolve was an interesting turn in events. Of course it worked – although I was immediately suspicious when she pulled it out on her first go. Arthur had to give it a mighty pull from that stone! But nevertheless, the pair are (were) back on track to challenge the Evil Queen and take back the kingdom. Well done team!
Back in current day Neverland, Emma awakens to the sound of crying echoing through the woods; the others are oblivious, except for one other…
“Oh did I forget to introduce myself? I’m Peter. Peter Pan.”
Am I alone in finding it a little bit creepy how Pan seems to try flirting with Emma? I guess Wendy’s out of the window… But anyway, to cement their official new feudship he gives her the Neverland equivalent of the Marauders Map so she can find Henry. A blank copy. And as wands haven’t officially been introduced to the show with the grand opening of Ollivanders of Storybrooke, Emma must do some serious soul searching to unlock its secrets.
Which means the ‘S’ word must once again be unleashed on the world. Emma is the saviour – accordingly leading the group through the Dark Jungle in a less jovial version of ‘Following the Leader’, minus the top hat, nightgowns and umbrella. All the while Pan’s ever present ‘smugness’ hangs in the air like smog. Failing to uncover the secrets of the map, Emma succumbs to Regina’s magic skills and the map sails through the gloom as a guiding beacon to Henry.
Bad form Emma! You cheated!
That may be true, but surely it’s worse form to lace your arrow tips with deadly Neverland poison! Fighting commences and jibes about the unfortunate end of Rufio at the hands of Hook spices up the scene! An adventure film girl by heart, I am especially glad ‘Hook’ starring Robin Williams was one of my favourite childhood films – “Shout out to my lost boys - BANGARANG!“ (Skrillex, thank you!)
It was a test by Pan all along. Emma hasn’t forgiven her parents for leaving her alone in the world… as Henry hasn’t forgiven her… It’s all very tense!
And in the heat of the Lost Boy ambush, Charming was poisoned by one of those BAD FORM ARROWS! Get some Savlon and Arnica on there, ASAP! And with the reappearance of Tinkerbell on the cards for next week, everybody start clapping for Charming’s safety. I do believe in princes recovering from lethal poisons, I do, I DO!
Tune in next week, keep clapping folks.