By Anne Marie Beach and Ben Mapp
If you play games as much as we do then you know all too well the tactics game developers deploy to make sales. Scantily clad babes in armour aside, there is another way to sell sex to audiences without being too upfront about it. Since the dawn of story driven gaming (or you know, good stories in general) there has always been a hero who falls for a heroine and the two have undeniable sexual tension that have us screaming “Do it already!”
If you play games as much as we do then you know all too well the tactics game developers deploy to make sales. Scantily clad babes in armour aside, there is another way to sell sex to audiences without being too upfront about it. Since the dawn of story driven gaming (or you know, good stories in general) there has always been a hero who falls for a heroine and the two have undeniable sexual tension that have us screaming “Do it already!”
So here is the run down, the top five games and characters that need to stop being shy and relieve the sexual tension for all our sakes.
Cloud and Tifa
Final Fantasy VII
I know that there are two kinds of people in this world. Cloud/Aerith people and Cloud/Tifa people.
I pride myself in being a recovering Cloud/Aerith person, I find myself firmly on Tifa's side of all this, especially after seeing Advent Children and playing Crisis Core. Cloud and Aerith do seem like a perfect kind of match, a brooding hero pining over a martyred heroine. The romance and melancholy of it all could make anyone feel a pang in their heart and yearn for that kind of undying devotion. However the real devotion is that of the unceasing Tifa Lockheart. Tifa and Cloud grew up together and during the events of Final Fantasy VII she stays by his side and helps him uncover the missing and implanted pieces of his memories. She remains by his side, ever vigilant through Advent Children, despite his unrelenting whining over the now deceased Aerith. Tifa is the real hero of the story, putting her heart out on the line and being a friend to Cloud, while he fails to see her true feelings.
Were things to go my way the two would stop Shilly Shallying and Dilly Dallying and get on with it!
I pride myself in being a recovering Cloud/Aerith person, I find myself firmly on Tifa's side of all this, especially after seeing Advent Children and playing Crisis Core. Cloud and Aerith do seem like a perfect kind of match, a brooding hero pining over a martyred heroine. The romance and melancholy of it all could make anyone feel a pang in their heart and yearn for that kind of undying devotion. However the real devotion is that of the unceasing Tifa Lockheart. Tifa and Cloud grew up together and during the events of Final Fantasy VII she stays by his side and helps him uncover the missing and implanted pieces of his memories. She remains by his side, ever vigilant through Advent Children, despite his unrelenting whining over the now deceased Aerith. Tifa is the real hero of the story, putting her heart out on the line and being a friend to Cloud, while he fails to see her true feelings.
Were things to go my way the two would stop Shilly Shallying and Dilly Dallying and get on with it!
Dante and Trish
Devil May Cry
There is something very oedipal about Dante's fascination and relationship with Trish. While Dante will forever play the cool guy who loves 'em and leaves 'em, he always comes back to Trish and Lady (Lady being the less creep factor of the two leading ladies).
Dante first meets Trish in DMC2, Trish being created by one of Dante's enemies to destroy him. Trish looks remarkably like Dante's dead mother, which is what makes it creepy. Still one can't help but feel a bit touched by the way Dante cares for her (because you can expect nothing less from a Half-Human/Half-Demon hybrid). Hell, just playing through the very first DMC for the PlayStation 2 and you can see quite clearly that Dante's interest in Trish stems from a very creepy, very Freudian place. After DMC4 the brand was revitalised with a new Dante and a new origin story, so we may never see what became of Dante and Trish, and part of me is glad for that.
Dante first meets Trish in DMC2, Trish being created by one of Dante's enemies to destroy him. Trish looks remarkably like Dante's dead mother, which is what makes it creepy. Still one can't help but feel a bit touched by the way Dante cares for her (because you can expect nothing less from a Half-Human/Half-Demon hybrid). Hell, just playing through the very first DMC for the PlayStation 2 and you can see quite clearly that Dante's interest in Trish stems from a very creepy, very Freudian place. After DMC4 the brand was revitalised with a new Dante and a new origin story, so we may never see what became of Dante and Trish, and part of me is glad for that.
Link and Zelda
The Legend of Zelda
Thanks to Nintendo's loyalty to their franchises and their apparent phobia of establishing fresh IP's, every gaming generation are introduced to a brand new incarnation of Link and Princess Zelda. The two actually did kiss once, but in a heavily pixelated form in 1987 (at the end of Zelda II: The Adventure of Link).
Every time Princess Zelda is ultimately kidnapped and every time it is Link who must eventually come to her rescue, but only after first exploring the corner of every dungeon and town, fixing all of the personal problems of the residents as well as partaking in various activities and mini-games available across a land usually called Hyrule. But despite the change in time period, the sexual tension of both Link and Zelda carries over from one version of them to the next seamlessly. This is except perhaps in The Wind Waker, where Zelda's unique identity as the pirate Tetra allowed her to develop an affection for danger and adventure herself like Link, rather than be restrained by the traditions of her previous incarnations. However, this Zelda has attitude which is a total contrast to hapless silent protagonist Link, and the two come across more as siblings rather than lovers. However in Skyward Sword, Link and Zelda are childhood friends (with Zelda even playing the role 'childhood crush' to Link). At the end of this game, it is suggested that both decide to stay on the 'surface world' together and abandon Skyloft. Now whilst we get no direct confirmation in any of the games (or their sequels) that the characters ever actually get together or ride off into the sunset after their adventure, and then to the bedroom shortly after, it is likely that at some point the 'surface world' needed populating with a people who would later be known as Hylians. Link's smile at the end of Skyward Sword says a lot about what his next move is going to be.
...You see where this is going, right?
Every time Princess Zelda is ultimately kidnapped and every time it is Link who must eventually come to her rescue, but only after first exploring the corner of every dungeon and town, fixing all of the personal problems of the residents as well as partaking in various activities and mini-games available across a land usually called Hyrule. But despite the change in time period, the sexual tension of both Link and Zelda carries over from one version of them to the next seamlessly. This is except perhaps in The Wind Waker, where Zelda's unique identity as the pirate Tetra allowed her to develop an affection for danger and adventure herself like Link, rather than be restrained by the traditions of her previous incarnations. However, this Zelda has attitude which is a total contrast to hapless silent protagonist Link, and the two come across more as siblings rather than lovers. However in Skyward Sword, Link and Zelda are childhood friends (with Zelda even playing the role 'childhood crush' to Link). At the end of this game, it is suggested that both decide to stay on the 'surface world' together and abandon Skyloft. Now whilst we get no direct confirmation in any of the games (or their sequels) that the characters ever actually get together or ride off into the sunset after their adventure, and then to the bedroom shortly after, it is likely that at some point the 'surface world' needed populating with a people who would later be known as Hylians. Link's smile at the end of Skyward Sword says a lot about what his next move is going to be.
...You see where this is going, right?
Master Chief and Cortana
Halo
There was always a certain amount of flirting going on throughout the main Halo games between these two heroes. They were star-crossed, quite literally. Not only that but they were emotionally connected by the fact that they are both half-machine, and are made all the more human by that fact, although Cortana much more so (at least by the time Halo 4 comes around). Right from day one when they escaped the Pillar of Autumn together and started exploring their very first Halo installation, the two formed an unbreakable bond. They became friends and companions who needed each other to save the universe. The Chief needed Cortana's immeasurable expertise in hacking ancient Forerunner systems, and Cortana needed the Chief in order to - Well - get around, quite frankly. Being an A.I. made that all the more difficult for her.
There is no way, save for installing a Cortana chip inside a flexible sex doll, that these two could ever actually get it on which makes it so much more tragic. Either that or the Master Chief enters a kinky Cortana-made simulation whilst in cryo-stasis, but not that we're bouncing around ideas or anything.
There is no way, save for installing a Cortana chip inside a flexible sex doll, that these two could ever actually get it on which makes it so much more tragic. Either that or the Master Chief enters a kinky Cortana-made simulation whilst in cryo-stasis, but not that we're bouncing around ideas or anything.
Sora, Kairi and Rikku
Kingdom Hearts
Now this comes off weird, as they are just children after all (or at least early teens).
I'd like to label this not so much as “sexual tension” but rather more of “unrealised romance.” Does that make it less creepy? Probably not. But stay with me. People argue over this love triangle for different reasons. Some would argue that Rikku loves Kairi as much as Sora. Others like to say that Rikku and Sora have it out for each other and only go after Kairi to fight off their feelings for one another. After playing the games as much as I have I like to argue that Sora and Rikku both love Kairi, but I can't say the other theory is unfounded. (But lets be serious, this is Disney so nothing will come of the fabled Sora/Rikku ship). However the game revolves around Sora looking for his friends, clinging onto a gift given to him by Kairi. The two having formed a romantically inclined bond on Destiny Island before it's destruction. Sora spends nearly the entire game looking for Rikku and Kairi. Sora goes even so far as to destroy his own heart in an effort to revive Kairi whose heart had been with Sora since the destruction of Destiny Island (romantic right!).
When all is said and done, Sora and Kairi can return to Destiny Island, but Sora is forced to tearfully part with Kairi and vows to seek out and find Rikku (also romantic if you fall into that particular ship). All in all, the romance sits unresolved and makes one wonder if things will ever return to normal for the trio. One can even forgive an unresolved love-connection if it means that the three will be reunited someday.
I'd like to label this not so much as “sexual tension” but rather more of “unrealised romance.” Does that make it less creepy? Probably not. But stay with me. People argue over this love triangle for different reasons. Some would argue that Rikku loves Kairi as much as Sora. Others like to say that Rikku and Sora have it out for each other and only go after Kairi to fight off their feelings for one another. After playing the games as much as I have I like to argue that Sora and Rikku both love Kairi, but I can't say the other theory is unfounded. (But lets be serious, this is Disney so nothing will come of the fabled Sora/Rikku ship). However the game revolves around Sora looking for his friends, clinging onto a gift given to him by Kairi. The two having formed a romantically inclined bond on Destiny Island before it's destruction. Sora spends nearly the entire game looking for Rikku and Kairi. Sora goes even so far as to destroy his own heart in an effort to revive Kairi whose heart had been with Sora since the destruction of Destiny Island (romantic right!).
When all is said and done, Sora and Kairi can return to Destiny Island, but Sora is forced to tearfully part with Kairi and vows to seek out and find Rikku (also romantic if you fall into that particular ship). All in all, the romance sits unresolved and makes one wonder if things will ever return to normal for the trio. One can even forgive an unresolved love-connection if it means that the three will be reunited someday.
Tidus and Yuna
Final Fantasy X
Depending on whether or not these two actually did have off-screen passionate, underwater rumpy pumpy shortly afterthat scene in the Macalania Woods, this romance was one which made a thousand gamers swoon, cry, feel awkward about, and ultimately led to my brother breaking down in tears and rage quitting (an experience that he still rages about to this day, might I add).
Everyone knows Tidus and Yuna to be one of the most naturally evolving romances, despite the forced, awkward, laughter outside Luca. At first Tidus is decidedly confused by Yuna's dedication to her mission (but that early on Tidus was confused about nearly everything except Blitzball). As Tidus and Yuna grow closer Tidus begins to feel the walls that Yuna has built around her heart, and tries to get to know her better. He begins to understand her mission (while not knowing one key fact) leading to a very awkward scene followed by an awkward revelation that Yuna will die in order to complete her mission. Despite their seemingly impending doom, Tidus and Yuna grow closer and closer and have some kind of “almost sex” in - again - that really hot and heavy, whilst simultaneously romantic, scene in the woods. Tidus eventually begs Yuna to find another way, as he can't bear the thought of her dying for a Calm that won't even be eternal. They do find another way, thankfully. Tidus ends up being nothing more than a dream, brought to life in order to bring peace to Spira. Tidus bids a tearful goodbye to Yuna and then ghost-fives his dead dream dad? (Maybe I'm stupid but I never really got that part)
All in all, this duo was my first experience with romance (outside of books) as well as devastating heartbreak. It truly made me yearn for their reunion, but that pang left more of an impression than a thousand happy endings ever could. If only the creators would do us all a favour and create a sequel to finally resolve that sexual tension. An awesome sequel that brings out the strength in Yuna's spirit, with loveable characters old and new, a new and interesting sphere grid, a reunion between Tidus and Yuna brought about by extreme cases of mistaken identity, and last but not least make it really great and not in the least bit sexist or pandering....
(To bad they never thought to make a direct sequel, right?)
(...Right?)
Everyone knows Tidus and Yuna to be one of the most naturally evolving romances, despite the forced, awkward, laughter outside Luca. At first Tidus is decidedly confused by Yuna's dedication to her mission (but that early on Tidus was confused about nearly everything except Blitzball). As Tidus and Yuna grow closer Tidus begins to feel the walls that Yuna has built around her heart, and tries to get to know her better. He begins to understand her mission (while not knowing one key fact) leading to a very awkward scene followed by an awkward revelation that Yuna will die in order to complete her mission. Despite their seemingly impending doom, Tidus and Yuna grow closer and closer and have some kind of “almost sex” in - again - that really hot and heavy, whilst simultaneously romantic, scene in the woods. Tidus eventually begs Yuna to find another way, as he can't bear the thought of her dying for a Calm that won't even be eternal. They do find another way, thankfully. Tidus ends up being nothing more than a dream, brought to life in order to bring peace to Spira. Tidus bids a tearful goodbye to Yuna and then ghost-fives his dead dream dad? (Maybe I'm stupid but I never really got that part)
All in all, this duo was my first experience with romance (outside of books) as well as devastating heartbreak. It truly made me yearn for their reunion, but that pang left more of an impression than a thousand happy endings ever could. If only the creators would do us all a favour and create a sequel to finally resolve that sexual tension. An awesome sequel that brings out the strength in Yuna's spirit, with loveable characters old and new, a new and interesting sphere grid, a reunion between Tidus and Yuna brought about by extreme cases of mistaken identity, and last but not least make it really great and not in the least bit sexist or pandering....
(To bad they never thought to make a direct sequel, right?)
(...Right?)
"C'mon Chief. Take a girl for a ride..."
There are so many potential couples to choose from. What about Mario and Peach? Surely had they solved the sexual tension back in the eighties then Mario's entire franchise would be so much more diluted.
That said, we could go on and on about it.
Did you enjoy this article? Let us know in the comments below or via Facebook or Twitter. We'd love to hear from you!
That said, we could go on and on about it.
Did you enjoy this article? Let us know in the comments below or via Facebook or Twitter. We'd love to hear from you!
RSS Feed
