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Hit Stop: Spring Breakers

10/1/2013

by Jo Johnstone

To young Americans spring break is seen as the ultimate get away; a rites of passage to be experienced at least once. The mixture of drinking, drugs, sex and partying makes for an interesting backdrop to any story. Unfortunately, Spring Breakers by Harmony Korine fails to explores any of these themes and opts for neon bikini-clad girls and flashy gun shoot outs.

The film focuses on four colleges girls planning their spring break; Faith, (Selena Gomez) Candy, (Vanessa Hudgens) Brittany, (Ashley Benson) and Cotty, (Rachel Korine). The girls lack of funds result in them, minus Faith, robbing a local restaurant to pay for the trip. Once on spring break they live life to the full until one party results in the girls being arrested. Faced with jail the girls are bailed out by local rapper/gangster Alien, (James Franco). Alien introduces the girls to his world of wealth and violence; offering the girls a chance to be part of it.

Hit Stop: Lords of Salem

9/7/2013

by Max Bosshart

I can't so much talk about this film as mumbled garbled words in a loud, angry manner. From the moment I pressed play to the moment it was over I cycled between maybe this will be good to oh nope. When the end finally came around I threw my hands in the air, looking confused and abruptly going “what?” It’s one of those films that has so much potential yet delivers nothing.

Rob Zombie's latest effort, Lords of Salem, is a movie about Satan worshipping witches in Salem. Yes, the Salem of the infamous witch trials of history. It revolves around Sheri Moon Zombie's character Heidi LaRoq, a radio personality, and her descent into satanic induced madness. All of this is triggered by a mysterious box containing a record given to Heidi by the "Lords" and is tied to movies version of the historical Salem witches.

Hit Stop: Piranha 3D

8/28/2013

By Graham Osborne

Well, this shouldn’t take too long.

Piranha 3D is quite possibly the worst piece of garbage ever committed to cinema. The only redeeming quality is that it ends, not well mind you, but an ending nonetheless.

The film was produced solely to try and sell 3D to the masses, and it failed. Instead, the producers and writers obviously decided to throw all the money they were given for the production towards boobs, blood and bad scripting. After deciding that the 3D element would be given over entirely to showing dismembered penises and breasts, everyone apparently decided to celebrate with as much alcohol as possible. Then they turned up for filming the next day whilst suffering the biggest hangover since the aftermath of Sodom and Gomorrah. That is the only conclusion I can come to as to how this film came to be.

Hit Stop: Warm Bodies

8/21/2013

By Robbie Jones

I can be very generous to films. Of all the films watched this year, there are none that I have scored lower than three stars due to them having some kind of redeeming feature. However, when you sleep on it, sometimes the flaws in films just become more and more obvious. And this morning, I woke up with a sudden hate for Warm Bodies.

Zombies are everywhere in this years rom-zom-com Warm Bodies. Following the apocalypse, R (Nicholas Hoult) is a zombie that does nothing more than wander around an abandoned airport with his fellow corpses. R remembers nothing of human self, and despite the fact he cannot talk, he treats us to a narration of his thoughts and feelings. One day, whilst out looking for food, R meets Julie (Teresa Palmer), the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He takes her hostage instead of eating her, and the two grow close, with his human life slowly returning to him. This would all be well and great if it wasn’t for the fact that her Dad (John Malkovich) is the leader of the rebellion set up to destroy the zombies.

Hit Stop: Pineapple Express (2008)

4/29/2013

By Graham Osborne

Pineapple Express is probably funny if you’re in the right state of mind. That state of mind? Stoned. If you hadn’t guessed, Pineapple Express is the epitome of a stoner comedy. Seth Rogen plays Dale Denton, a process server who habitually partakes in smoking marijuana. One time, after visiting his drug dealer, James Franco, Denton stops outside a house, lights up and proceeds to witness the murder of a drug kingpin by a corrupt cop and rival drug baron. The rest of the film follows a fairly predictable fare as Denton and his dealer away from people who are trying to kill them.

Hit Stop: Safe (2012)

4/9/2013

By Matthew Battles

What happens when you take two gangs, some corrupt cops, stick them in New York City and throw in some action-film cliches? You get Safe. A film which stars Jason Statham and... That’s actually it.

Hit Stop: G.I Joe - The Rise of Cobra (2009)

4/2/2013

By Josh Crooks

With the sequel hitting cinemas this month, I though it high time to take a closer look at the film that started the franchise, and try to understand how and why a film from a massive toy conglomerate (Hasbro) has made, and is still making the big bucks. My findings are far from conclusive.

Hit Stop: Life as We Know it (2010)

3/18/2013

By Robbie Jones

I’m always up for a bad comedy. Whether it’s Adam Sandler’s latest or the new formulaic sex adventure, I have no doubt that I’ll find some shred of enjoyment. So whenever LOVEFiLM doesn’t send me the film I want, but rather a critically trashed comedy, I’m absolutely fine with it. But let me make this clear: I’m ok with them sending me a bad comedy, NOT A FREAKING DEATH SENTENCE.

Hit Stop - The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

3/11/2013

By William John

The third film in a trilogy often tends to suffer. Jaws 3, Spider Man 3, X-Men: The Last Stand… the list goes on.

The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Empire suffers from the rule of three syndrome to no end. Picking up some 15 years after the events of The Mummy Returns, we find Rick and Evey as retired civil servants, fresh from the Second World War, and bored out of their minds. This wouldn’t be too much of a problem, being a believable scenario for people with their past misadventures; had it not been for the single biggest, most catastrophic mistake the producers could have made. Evey!

Hit Stop: Green Lantern (2011)

3/4/2013

By Graham Osborne

I am fairly certain that I was the key demographic for the Green Lantern film. I’m in my twenties, a big fan of the Green Lantern franchise and I love to watch films. So I’m not entirely sure how the filmmakers were able to get the film so spectacularly wrong that I was able to write nearly four and a half pages of notes about what I didn’t like regarding the outcome. Without further ado, let’s air the grievances of a film that has already bombed at the cinema and on DVD.

Ryan Reynolds plays Hal Jordan, a hotshot test pilot who is chosen to become part of the intergalactic police force known as the Green Lanterns by an alien who crash-landed on Earth. Jordan then has to defeat Parallax, the living embodiment of fear that has taken over his childhood friend.

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Hit Stop: Spring Breakers

Hit Stop: Lords of Salem

Hit Stop: Piranha 3D

Hit Stop: Warm Bodies

Hit Stop: Pineapple Express (2008)

Hit Stop: Safe (2012)

Hit Stop: G.I Joe - The Rise of Cobra (2009)

Hit Stop: Life as We Know it (2010)

Hit Stop - The Mummy 3: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008)

Hit Stop: Green Lantern (2011)

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