By Josh Crooks
With the sequel hitting cinemas this month, I though it high time to take a closer look at the film that started the franchise, and try to understand how and why a film from a massive toy conglomerate (Hasbro) has made, and is still making the big bucks. My findings are far from conclusive.
With the sequel hitting cinemas this month, I though it high time to take a closer look at the film that started the franchise, and try to understand how and why a film from a massive toy conglomerate (Hasbro) has made, and is still making the big bucks. My findings are far from conclusive.
Let’s start things as we mean to go on: on any intellectual level, the film is hella stupid. The story might as well have come straight from the Saturday morning TV shows it was based on; and the problem with that is the film taking itself far too seriously. It might have been oddly comical had Steven Sommers (Van Helsing, The Mummy) injected it with any sense of irony or tongue-in-cheek, but any attempt at Meta filmmaking or self-aware cinema falls incredibly short. This is shown no clearer than when lines from the original kids show are said during the few set pieces the film has to offer: 'Remember kids, knowing is half the battle'... Ew.
Cinematically the film has one or two well lit locations and fancy visual effects shots, but unfortunately these get buried under tired and tested clichés such as the Karate Kid training montage, and military double speak that the Joe's shout at each other during short clips of explosions. The story itself is the film's own worse enemy, because if it wasn't for its self imposed tone, G.I. Joe actually could have been a good bit of throwaway fun, but since its decided to take itself so seriously, I'll do the same.
Cinematically the film has one or two well lit locations and fancy visual effects shots, but unfortunately these get buried under tired and tested clichés such as the Karate Kid training montage, and military double speak that the Joe's shout at each other during short clips of explosions. The story itself is the film's own worse enemy, because if it wasn't for its self imposed tone, G.I. Joe actually could have been a good bit of throwaway fun, but since its decided to take itself so seriously, I'll do the same.
The acting is atrocious. By anyone's standard, everyone here has done better. Channing Tatum reminds us why no one would take him seriously prior to 21 Jump Street, Damon Wayons refuses to grow up, and Sienna Miller, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Christopher Eccleston struggle to convince that they are in fact from the UK; the last of which's accent was so bad it took me ¾ of the movie to realize it was Scottish, my notes prove as much. The biggest surprise though was down to Joseph Gordon Levitt, who makes a surprise appearance as a man that our protagonist unfortunately left behind. We are left to believe that during a four year absence from the military, JGL's character transforms from loveable G.I. Joe to deranged, disfigured psychopath; and when I say that, I mean true old fashioned, scene stealing, scenery chewing villain. It’s bizarre to say the least, even more so when you take into consideration that the general public are (for the most part) unaware of his inclusion as he is rarely mentioned throughout the film's promotional material and is not back for the sequel (unlike the principal cast). I would venture that this performance needs to be seen to be believed, so if you don't think you can make it through the entire film (I don't blame you), check out a clip below.
Another problem I had with the film was its reliance on CGI. As I've previously mentioned there are a few inspired shots but these can be seen in the trailer (there will be a link below). What anyone brave enough to see the actual film is left with is an hour and a half effects that look to be borrowed from the original Playstation, with the finale in particular looking like deleted scenes from The Phantom Menace; a film that is rarely regarded for its CGI quality. It’s sad to see many films of this ilk (Battleship, Transformers) relying on CGI and refusing to use practical effects all together. It makes sense when two robots are duking it out between skyscrapers, but there are shots here where even menial things like walls and locations are needlessly placed giving the film a very fake feel. Now this isn't so much an issue with G.I Joe, as real or otherwise, there won't be anyone over the age of 8 drawn in by this mess; which is ironic considering its 12 certificate rating, but it’s sad nonetheless.
Heaven knows what the sequel holds for us; but if the laugh free trailer and the directors previous efforts including: Justin Beiber - Never Say Never, it’s a wonder the film exists in the world at all let alone it having a 130 million dollar budget.
Heaven knows what the sequel holds for us; but if the laugh free trailer and the directors previous efforts including: Justin Beiber - Never Say Never, it’s a wonder the film exists in the world at all let alone it having a 130 million dollar budget.
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