By Graham Osborne

I never thought this day would come… Ratchet and Clank is coming to the cinema. So why am I so worried about it? For those of you who don’t know Ratchet and Clank, let me give you a bit of backstory. Ratchet is a Lombax (the last of his kind, but we’ll get to that later) living on the planet Veldin. Clank is a small robot with a high IQ who was created initially, one is led to believe, by accident before later discovering he is to be senior caretaker to the Great Clock in the Exact Centre of the Universe (give or take fifty feet). The duo first met when Clank uncovers a plot to destroy hundreds of planets so a new one can be built. He attempt to enlist the help of Captain Qwark (a notable celebrity) to stop this, but crash lands on Veldin and meets Ratchet who agrees to help him. The two eventually find Qwark who betrays them and leaves them for dead. They survive and eventually find and defeat the big baddie, living a semi-famous life afterwards.

By Josh Crooks

Sam Raimi is a film-maker with what some would call a varied career; personally, I would call it a chequered past. The name Raimi once stood tall as a true pioneer in the world of indie film-making in the same way that Linklater and Smith already do, as the three paved the way for a new movement of cinema in the eighties and early nineties. Linklater proved himself with Slacker (1991), Smith proved himself with Clerks (1994) and Raimi did it with The Evil Dead (1981). Following British controversies such as that of A Clockwork Orange upon its original release, The Evil Dead was classified by the Maggie Thatcher (rest in pieces) as a Video Nasty; joining the likes of I Spit on your Grave (1978) as a film that was deemed too graphic for public consumption, and was released straight to VHS, skipping the cinema entirely. This alone has given it a cult status among geeks the world over as to this day the gore is still brazen and bold, and still holds up as a horror classic.

By Graham Osborne

Pineapple Express is probably funny if you’re in the right state of mind. That state of mind? Stoned. If you hadn’t guessed, Pineapple Express is the epitome of a stoner comedy. Seth Rogen plays Dale Denton, a process server who habitually partakes in smoking marijuana. One time, after visiting his drug dealer, James Franco, Denton stops outside a house, lights up and proceeds to witness the murder of a drug kingpin by a corrupt cop and rival drug baron. The rest of the film follows a fairly predictable fare as Denton and his dealer away from people who are trying to kill them.

By Cookie 'N' Screen

It seems so clichéd doesn’t it? If I were to tell you that a bullied character was involved in an accident and toppled head first into a vat of toxic sludge becoming deformed, you’d know what were to happen. You’d know that the character would rise up against his tormentors, right? Classic villain stuff. Wait, what if I were to tell you that the character actually becomes the hero and is the ultimate protagonist in an otherwise gore filled movie? That’s right, I’m talking Cult Classic’s here and I’m talking, The Toxic Avenger.

The Toxic Avenger is about Melvin, a 98lb weakling janitor who works at a health club in Tromaville. Daily, poor Melvin is subjected to insults and is bullied by his customers. These people; Bozo, Slug, Wanda and Julie are the lowest of the low. They wreak havoc on the town and even relish in running over a young boy and taking pictures of their crime. When an assault on Melvin causes him to tumble head first into chemicals, Melvin becomes hideously transformed. No longer a weakling, he becomes bigger and stronger, rising up against crime within his town including Mayor Belgoody. Although initially rejected by his loved ones, Melvin, or The Monster Hero, soon sparks interest within the townsfolk. Soon enough, he falls in love, enacts the ultimate revenge and is accepted as the towns very own Toxic Avenger. 

By Alex Doust

Viewer discretion is advised; the following article contains scenes that should not be viewed by ANYONE under 18, but we all know you’re not turning back at this point anyway so, person to person, I’m proud of you (and so, I assume, is Mark Gatiss!) Now, in no particular order… 

By Kim J Osborne

The Movie Preview Network have released their compilation trailer to co-incide with the official start of Your Summer of Cinema 2013. Our Editor, William John and Cookie 'N' Screen writer Cookie attended the launch on Tuesday at Sommerset House, where Alex Zane showcased the very best of what this summer has to offer at the movies! 

The summer 2013 trailer, shown below with our own special introduction, features clips from 52 of over 160 new films premiering over the next four months and is narrated by a UK film fan who won the chance via a competition on the Movie Preview Network website.

By Robbie Jones

Another spoof, another popular film – Yet another barrel of laughs. I struggled to choose a film this week as there was barely anything I’ve seen, so I settled that undoubtedly many people have seen – Shaun of the Dead.

Simon Pegg is Shaun, a electrics shop worker who lives with his best friend Ed (Nick Frost). Shaun is a simple man with simple pleasures, such as hanging out at his favourite pub, The Winchester. But when he forgets his anniversary, his girlfriend Liz breaks up with him. Depressed, Ed takes Shaun out for a drink, and as they get absolutely smashed, they fail to release they are surrounded by zombies. It’s not until the next morning they realise the world has ended and they must go and to save Liz, with her friends Dave and Dianne, as well Shaun’s Mum and Step-Dad… all end up trapped in the Winchester. 

By Helen Fulton

So I'm sitting in the packed cinema surrounded by people buzzing with excitement, eagerly awaiting the stroke of 12:01am. Why? Because that's when the first showing of Iron Man 3 hits our screens...

Well in fact the film doesn't start for another 30 minutes, but who's counting?

So after previewing the trailers (including a 3D Star Trek: Into Darkness trailer...eep!) we settled into the film. I, along with probably about 100 others, were on the edge of our seats, right up until the last scene when we all let out our breath and began the self-reviewing.

By Cookie 'N' Screen

I can feel it. I can literally feel your eyes judging me. And if I listen really carefully I can hear the collective eyes role. So will the whole male population just stop for a second and let me say my piece? 

It may be true that since High School Musical, Zac Efron danced his balls into my heart (and that isn’t figuratively…) and it may be true that since High School Musical, Zac Efron is attempting to break out into different genres of films from independent to trashy (he did let Nicole Kidman pee on him). But I still have major love for a film that is genuinely funny, ridiculously cheesy and on some weird level proves that Zac Efron can actually act. 

By Robbie Jones

I know I said I aimed to select films that not many people have heard of, but the minute I saw this in the listings, I couldn’t let the chance slip away to write about what was recently voted the greatest comedy movie of all time. Spoof movies are famously one of the most hated genres of film, from Epic Movie to Date Movie, Disaster Movie to Meet the Spartans (in my opinion, one of the worst films of all time), they can’t seem to attract any love. A notable exception would be Scary Movie, even though its sequels aren’t quite as well received (See: Scary Movie 2, 4 and 5 – 3 was the best… shut up, it was!). 


From the modern generation, I can only say that I liked Scary Movie 3 and Superhero Movie, two undeniably stupid films that make me laugh my ass off. But honestly, the age of good spoof movies is long gone, my friends. As much as I hate to say it, we’re never gonna get another Hot Shots. We’re never gonna get another Top Secret. We’re never gonna get another Naked Gun. And we’re sure as hell not gonna get another Airplane!