I can be very generous to films. Of all the films watched this year, there are none that I have scored lower than three stars due to them having some kind of redeeming feature. However, when you sleep on it, sometimes the flaws in films just become more and more obvious. And this morning, I woke up with a sudden hate for Warm Bodies.
Zombies are everywhere in this years rom-zom-com Warm Bodies. Following the apocalypse, R (Nicholas Hoult) is a zombie that does nothing more than wander around an abandoned airport with his fellow corpses. R remembers nothing of human self, and despite the fact he cannot talk, he treats us to a narration of his thoughts and feelings. One day, whilst out looking for food, R meets Julie (Teresa Palmer), the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. He takes her hostage instead of eating her, and the two grow close, with his human life slowly returning to him. This would all be well and great if it wasn’t for the fact that her Dad (John Malkovich) is the leader of the rebellion set up to destroy the zombies.
Whilst we’re on the analogies of zombies, Warm Bodies is overwhelmingly slow. Watch it for 15 minutes, you’ll feel like you’ve been sitting there for two hours. It’s absolutely painful. For making it to the end without falling asleep , I think I deserve a medal. Or a holiday. Or at least a cuddle!
The cast aren’t great either; great talent,just not used very well. To be fair, Nicholas Hoult and Rob Corddry are playing zombies so there isn’t much complaint. It is Teresa Palmer and John Malkovich who are disappointing. Malkovich is a class act. But here, he’s more boring than the zombies. We want kooky, fun and loud Malkovich, not slow speaking and depressed Malkovich.
(Editorial: To be fair, his brother isn't doing amazingly well in movies this year).
Don’t be fooled by the quirky trailer, Warm Bodies will suck the life out of you. It’s completely dead! But seriously, enough zombie jokes, fans of the genre, give this one a miss. If you want a true Zombie comedy, go watch Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland.
Just avoid this one like the impending future zombie plague.