
“Everything but the kitchen sink, aye?”
This man chuckled as I lugged a table onto a train and shoved it against the window in hopes that the regular service to London doesn’t fill up with people lining up to glare at me for using a seat for an inanimate object (under the advice of the conductor, by the way). This wasn't the first or last time someone who scoff about the table. It would be many times that people humorously said comments to me.
“Ha ha,” I said as sweat poured down the innards of my back, my face red from the ridiculous amount of stairs and lengths between bus stops that I had to drag two bags full of props, equipment and the filthiest table you can imagine down as we ventured London for the weekend. Living in the middle of nowhere and not knowing how to drive has is its massive disadvantages that if I’d know at some point in my life I’d be lugging the entire contents of my living to the capitol, I’d have kicked my arse into that Learners seat pronto.

So propped up against the window, staring as the countryside went by, our fearless leader and myself traveled aimlessly to a city on a spring day. On a Friday. To one of the UKs biggest hot-spots. Well….
“It’s messy!”
I heard in a different dialect and language but understood the sentiment as crowds of people darted their eyes judgingly over the surface of the usually white table. Little did they know that this aesthetic was necessary - I’d agonised over getting the perfect look as I carefully placed different stains in particular places like Vincent Van Gough giving swirls into the night sky. I absolutely did not just spill as much as possible as I was 100% dedicated to the little details of my film. Still, the eyes that coveted my table and instantly judged me saw one thing - an out of shape fat bag hoarder who may not know how to place chemical aided soap onto a cloth to clean up after herself. Swallowing my usual stance of talking to strangers on public transport (do not at all costs), I smiled and explained the necessary of the grime to varying levels of interest as I became that person on the tube (the crazy one with their table friend eager to talk to anyone who locks eyes.).
This wasn’t the end of my totally expected journey as I ran across different towns like a jaunty Bilbo excited to reach the kingdom of movie making. As I reached London Euston, I ventured to Waterloo to meet Leah, my trainee light technician (and all round superstar in helping me out), then we left to Kingston in order to grab equipment. The table visited the pit of Primark for two goddamn hours to pick up the costume when we returned from Zone 6. And then stupidity hit at Charing Cross when we thought sitting down as a good idea in rush hour only to be trapped at our station with a table. Surprisingly, apart from being glared down by one woman who clearly just wanted to sit down with her baguette, there were a lot of people helping and laughing out our plight as we went to Lewisham. Which was swiftly followed by a taxi journey that was so akin to the circus that you could hear the jovial trumpet sounds as we piled out again for some behind the scenes documentaries. Only was the table put down for the day after yet another taxi journey, wondering around East Ham and a slug up two flights of stairs to a hotel room where it was reunited with its identical twins....

Was this effort all worth it despite being kept mainly awake for four days straight because my arms decided to seize up in pain? As I sit at home trying to assimilate back into my regular schedule of press emails and articles, my heart aching with the wept in post film-making blues, I think back to my team on how they powered through a crazy-assed script and an equally insane director. From my right hand lady Gloria, who grounded me and supported me, to my grand sound technician Graham, who put up with my wildly absurd complaining walking to the hotel. From Leah who helped power the equipment to locations and took a shine to a light to Sean our DOP and Editor who put up with the crazy positions I put him in to get a shot. From Jo who invited us to her home, took care of us and helped the film run smoothly to Will who laid on the floor for four hours pretending to be dead. From Frankie who spoke about tables with hilarious comedy and lastly to Vedi who brought the character John to life with his amazing talent. They all brought something fresh, unique and poured their souls into my project. And all graciously accepted their acting roles in the film too...
I couldn’t be prouder of everyone who walked with me down the streets of London in order to bring life to a brilliant film. I’m only baby steps in the industry both as press and a filmmaker. But I’ve honestly never felt more accepted than I have sweating through my clothes as we lugged cameras and lights across town for a less than ten minutes short. It was hard work but I believe it’ll pay off as we’ll continue down the production path.
And I miss doing it.
So much so that when I came home last night and saw the space where my table was, I wiped a lowly tear from my eye like Marius singing “Empty Chair at Empty Tables.” After all, it’s all post-production now and I won’t see my table again until our Cast & Crew evening.
But heck, I’ll definitely miss you, buddy.
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