Since 2010, The Expendables have been exploding onto our screens with some of the biggest and best names from the history of action movies. And we get more and more cast members with each instalment. Already signed onto The Expendables 4 are Pierce Brosnan and Hulk Hogan, but there are so many actors who bathe in the cheesy glory that is this film franchise. So without further ado, and in no particular order, let’s take a look at some actors who would fit in nicely in the Expendables universe.
Honourable Mentions: Vin Diesel, Channing Tatum, Emily VanCamp, Dave Bautista, Will Smith, Carrie Fisher, Ellen Page, Kurt Russell and Mark Wahlberg
Jackson is probably better remembered for his serious performances rather than his action films. He’ll likely be remembered better for Pulp Fiction than Star Wars. But even though he’ll live on through people quoting “Say what again! I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker," let’s not deny that he’ll also live on through that legendary quote “I have had it, with these motherfucking snakes, on this motherfucking plane!” My point is that Jackson, whilst he has some supreme talent, is not a stranger to the kind of films that The Expendables tries to be. He’d fit in nicely, and since everyone already considers him a badass, people would turn in droves to see him take on the rest of the crew.
Motherfucker.
Keanu Reeves might be a great guy in real life, but lets’ face it: He has zero acting talent. So with that in mind, what is it about him that makes him so watchable? Why do we always root for him the minute he’s on screen? Only God knows why. Reeves has starred in some great action films; Speed, Point Break, The Matrix and John Wick in particular. In The Expendables universe, he could easily be a hero or a villain. His dull voice works both ways: He could be an ex-mercenary, who has been scarred by the things he has seen but joins Barney’s team for one last fight to get revenge. OR, he could be a weapons dealer, a ruthless tycoon who has little empathy for those he kills. And in both situations, he’d be a treat to watch.
“What? A woman? In the Expendables? Well, that’s just plain wrong!”
Oh shut up. Or better yet, I’ll let Ronda Rousey’s kick-ass performance in part three smack that attitude out of you. It’s an unfortunate fact that there are people out there who hiss at the thought of female cast members in a series as ‘manly’ as this, to the point where women have to their own fucking version of it (With a horrible patronizing name, no less) just to be taken seriously. And it’s these same people who seem to think that women action stars are a new thing. Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers, Jennifer Lawrence in The Hunger Games, Kate Beckinsale in Underworld etc. are what they know, but are they really going to deny that Sigourney Weaver is an action legend? The Alien franchise is usually remembered as horror, but the second film Aliens is flat out action, and Weaver kicks arse. Hell, she even has a famous badass quote “Get away from her, you bitch!” that could easily be referenced/butchered like Bruce and Arnie’s lines have been.
Don’t even try to lie to me, I know you just read that in the Team America voice. There is much more to Matt Damon than a horribly fucked up looking puppet, as he’s also a great actor and a kick-ass action star. The Bourne films are some of the most loved action films of the past decade, but unlike the films of other stars from The Expendables, they are quite serious. Nothing cheesy or stupid about them. This could make a nice change to the franchise, showing that it’s not just a one trick pony.
You’re still thinking about Team America, aren’t you? Sigh, Nevermind....
Help me out here: Is Zoe Saldana underrated? I feel like she is, but just take a look at her filmography: Star Trek 1 and 2, Guardians of the Galaxy, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, The Losers etc. She certainly has a high profile list of films under her belt but it still feels like she doesn’t get the attention she deserves. Nevertheless, she would go so perfect in an Expendables film; she can kick some serious arse, and has some great acting talent to boot. I could see her being someone who works for an evil company or agency that the Expendables are going against, but when she finds out just how evil and corrupt her boss is (Sigourney Weaver, perhaps?), she switches sides and joins The Expendables to take down the bad guys. I can picture it so well, can the studio perhaps make it a reality?
Oh, Nicolas Cage. Most people would think that the man has lost his way and will virtually do anything these days, and they’re probably right. Just look at his recent filmography, how much of it have you actually heard of? Despite great performances and films in the past, Nicolas Cage has resorted to being the guy you can hire for anything. But let’s not forget that Dolph Lundgen was essentially the same before The Expendables, as was Jean-Claude Van Damme. It’s not like their careers have been changed by the franchise, but they were perfect for the films, just as Nicolas Cage would be. He’d feel right at home, and knowing Cage, he’d have a blast doing it. I could see him as a secondary villain, one who’s not involved with the main plot of the film but plays around it, maybe even getting involved at one point only to meet his demise. Please, just anything to give Cage a little bit more credibility.
Okay, much like Keanu Reeves, we have to be honest: Jessica Alba isn’t THAT great at acting. Her performances fall flat a lot of the time, but thankfully not all of the time. The times where her performances are decent, it’s usually in an action film. It’s the genre she should stick to because her attempts at drama and comedy are dire, but when she’s playing a badass, she knows how to do it. It’s especially in roles like these that she proves she CAN be funny, with cheesy puns and one liners definitely being her thing. If she were in The Expendables 4, I’d like to see her as part of the team when the film starts; have a reasonable time gap between 3 and 4, where Barney has realised how much of a good idea it was to bring on younger members to the team and has done so in the gap (which could mean roles for more younger actors), and she could maybe have a good relationship with Ronda Rousey’s character.
When she isn't being a political activist, or helping our charities, or directing phenomenal movies, or generally being a good soul - Angelina Jolie is a great actress. She’s no stranger to the action genre, with films like Wanted, Mr and Mrs. Smith and Salt under her belt. She knows how to kick arse, and she knows how to give good performances. She’s fierce and she’s intimidating, which makes me picture her as a villain. But like Cage, I’d see her as a secondary villain, not involved in the plot but playing around it and causing a nightmare for Barney and the gang (If, like me, you read that sentence and then pictured Barney the Dinosaur and his friends in an action movie, how hard did you laugh?) whilst they have bigger fish to fry. And she be could be one of those villains who doesn’t give up; doesn’t matter how many times they take her out, she just keeps coming back and ruining things for everyone. It’s a role she’s perfect for.
Concluding our list is the most likely actor to appear in the next film. The Rock, otherwise known “The Franchise Saver”, is the action hero of today: He saved The Fast and Furious franchise with his role in the fifth and sixth instalments, he turned G.I: Retaliation from a terrible sequel to a still-mediocre-but-lots-of-fun sequel, and now he is Hercules himself. Johnson has an innate watchability factor to him. He makes it so easy to enjoy what he’s doing, and he seems to have fun in the process, which makes his performances even better. Stallone has already stated that he wants Dwayne to play the villain of Expendables 4, but myself and probably most people would rather see him as a hero, a heavy weight member of the team who could have banter/rivalry with Terry Crews. His career has gone much better than most wrestlers turned actors, and it’s only on the up and up. This film is the next step for him.
So that’s our list, who would you like to see in the next Expendables film? Let us know in the comments!
The Expendables 3 is on DVD and Blu-Ray now