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From The Trenches: The Union Forever

10/7/2014

by Matthew Howe

Union guys have a reputation for being lazy and surly. Having worked on a few union jobs, I can tell you that’s anything but the truth. These guys and gals work hard. Lay out a quarter mile of 4/0 feeder cable and see what I mean. They’re also really nice. At least most of them. The only mean union guy I ever met was a Teamster who tried to be dick to me but was really, really bad at it. I just laughed.

But I have had a couple of encounters that were more to stereotype, even though they are outliers and not representative of the whole. And thankfully, neither of them happened in New York under the jurisdiction of our local.

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From the Trenches: A Writer's Tale of Woe Part 1

9/30/2014

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Click to buy Matthew's book

by Matthew Howe

My buddy Chris and I go all the way back to Blue Vengeance, an independent cop action movie I worked on for one day back in 1986. Through the years, I crewed for him on a number of his other indie movies, eventually moving up the chain to writer/producer/DP/actor/editor/post-production sound guy and whatever else needed to be done guy.

(If you want a full, madcap accounting of our early career you can check out my book Film is Hell, which is available on Amazon and also as a Kindle E-book. ((ED: Shameless plug Matthew))).

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From The Trenches: The Trouble with Actors Edition

7/8/2014

by Matthew Howe

On a recent shoot for a small feature I'm working on, the lead actress, one mega-talented Stephanie Bari Kobliska, is crammed in a smelly pickup truck with myself (writer/DP) and Chris (producer/director.) Trying to make some conversation to distract us from the smell of pig shit (see my post two weeks ago) she asks: "what is it you guys hate the most about actors?"

A good question. She's a working actress but she's always pushing, always trying to learn, and here she has two guys who might actually give her a straight answer.

From The Trenches: Porcelain Edition

6/25/2014

by Matthew Howe

Film shoots that go bad are often described as "pig fucks." In our case, however, there are literally pigs fucking.

Day 4 of our 8 day feature-film shoot extravaganza is set at an upstate New York "hog farm." The "farm" is basically a hilly piece of land dotted with broken down trailers and trucks with 200 or so just-this-side-of-feral hogs roaming the land, eating all the greenery and getting it on whenever the urge strikes them, which based on eye-witness accounts is pretty much always.

From The Trenches: The Commie Talent Show

2/23/2014

by Matthew Howe

An old school chum of mine calls to hire me for a job. She grew up in the upstate New York town of Goldens Bridge, a town just about to celebrate its 75th anniversary. They're marking the occasion with a massive party and want a video made to document the event for future generations.

I don't know much about Goldens Bridge. I'd seen the name on signs as I drove by on the highway, and may even have passed through it once or twice. My memory tells me it's a quiet, simple sort of place of winding roads and neat little houses set on charming, wooded tracts.

Goldens Bridge does boast one famous citizen, Oscar winning actress Marisa Tomei grew up there. She will, I am told, be attending the party. Which is cool. But not that cool because I have a standing policy about not getting excited about working with celebrities. (The only time I've ever violated this was when I did a shoot with Matt Stone and Trey Parker. But that's a tale for another day).

From The Trenches: Adventures in Travel

1/22/2014

by Matthew Howe

For anyone who works professionally in the film industry, travel is a necessary evil. While we don't put down as many frequent flier miles as George Clooney did in Up in the Air, we certainly work our miles a lot harder.

After all, he breezes through security with slip on shoes and one roller-bag. We often travel with 10 to 25 cases packed full of heavy, expensive equipment all of which has to be processed through the nightmare from hell that is known as airport security.

But it does have it's lighter sides as well.

From The Trenches: Zombie Dangerfield Edition

12/10/2013

by Matthew Howe

Working in the film business often puts you in, shall we say, strange situations.

A few years back my buddy Chris Ingvordsen, with whom I've had countless film adventures, landed us a job to shoot some second unit footage for an upcoming Rodney Dangerfield flick, The 4th Tenor.

Second unit is exactly what it wounds like, a second, smaller filming unit that runs around getting establishing shots, close-ups of props, shots of picture cars driving by and stuff like that. For instance, shots of building exteriors in The Avengers were shot by the 2nd unit. Joss Whedon wasn't there, though the units all work under the supervision and vision of the director. (On big movies, there are often more than two units, all of them focusing on different elements that need to be captured to put the film together. There's a pile of great second unit stories in the book Bonfire of the Vanities.)

From The Trenches: Rommel's Matrix

9/23/2013

by Matthew Howe

General Erwin Rommel was a dick, working for the evilest world leader in history, but that doesn't mean he was stupid. One of his more famous quotations involved the four qualities any soldier could have. Think of it like an old school Chinese restaurant menu:

COLUMN A: A soldier can be STUPID or SMART.

COLUMN B: A soldier can be LAZY or INDUSTRIOUS.

Every soldier had one attribute from column A and one attribute from column B.

According to Rommel, most soldiers are stupid and lazy. Which is fine. you tell them what to do, they do it. Your basic cannon fodder.

The ones that are smart but lazy rise to the middle ranks of command but never much further.

The ones who are smart and industrious rise to become commanders, generals and great leaders of men.

From The Trenches: The Union Forever

From the Trenches: A Writer's Tale of Woe Part 1

From The Trenches: The Trouble with Actors Edition

From The Trenches: Porcelain Edition

From The Trenches: The Commie Talent Show

From The Trenches: Adventures in Travel

From The Trenches: Zombie Dangerfield Edition

From The Trenches: Rommel's Matrix

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