I love me some barbeque. I really do. Growing up in the Deep South, it’s a way of life. We love people and we love food. So, it comes very naturally to us. A lot of pride rides on the line when it comes to these shindigs. Everyone wants to put on the best one that will be talked about for ages. So, without any further ado, here are the top ten that I would invite to my soiree in order to secure the bragging rights.
9: Iron Man – Speaking of daiquiris, as a former alcoholic, I bet Tony Stark knows quite a few recipes for mixed drinks. In case anyone is wondering, one sure-fire way to get a party hopping is to mix one of my all-time favourites; The Liquid Cocaine: equal parts Jagermeister, Rumpleminze, Goldschlauger, and Bacardi 151. It’s guaranteed to keep your party hopping... until people start passing out.
8: Storm – Nothing spoils a cookout worse than bad weather. Mrs Munroe would not only ensure that the skies stay clear, but that the temperature is nice and moderate too.
7: The Flash – No matter how much planning and foresight that you put into a barbeque, something always goes wrong. More often than not, you wind up forgetting something, usually of great importance. No problem. Just send him on a supply run and he'll be back in a flash. See what I did there?
6: Kraven – Store bought meats taste fine. But, I know all too well (and better than most, having grown up on a cattle ranch), that fresh meat always tastes better. Kraven will be more than happy to show off his impressive hunting skills in order to provide a more bountiful feast.
4: Captain America – 'MURICA! 'Nuff said.
3: Wonder Woman – Everybody loves good food. But it’s always important that everyone share. However, without a doubt, there is always some philistine that takes more than their lot and tries to steal the lion's share of banana pudding. Her Lasso Of Truth will put an end to those shenanigans. I'm looking at you, Bizarro.
2: Hulk – What veggie goes best with ribs? Potatoes. HULK SMASH POTATOES! You're mentally picturing this now, aren't you?
Honourable mention goes to Aquaman – Y'all didn't think I'd miss a chance to make fun of him, now did you, my loyal readers? Just kidding. This is a dishonourable mention. This is a barbeque, not a fish fry. His pescalingual skills are of no use here.
1: The Human Torch – Without a doubt, I always have trouble lighting the grille. This often leads to singed eyebrows. But not with Johnny Storm around. He could light a grille in a snowstorm, just to prove he could. Plus, it would be really funny to see him make fun of The Thing and try to use him has charcoal briquettes.
I'm really hungry now. All of this talk about food has made a rumbly in my tumbly, as a certain bear once said. So, I'm going to get some supper together. Hopefully yet another Top Ten coming, if I can think one up. Or, send me some more suggestions.
Storm, Kraven, even Aquaman - who would you invite for dinner and why? Let us know below!