By Heather Stromski
My son – my firstborn, my light, the apple of my eye – began preschool this past Monday. What few there will know is that his education started years ago. One might even say it started while I was still pregnant with him. From watching episode after episode of Stargate SG-1 on those long nights when sleep eluded me, either from simply being too uncomfortable to sleep, or when he simply refused to go down himself; to watching him perk up upon hearing the theme to Doctor Who, my three-year-old minimonster has been learning at my side what it means to embrace creativity – in other words, embrace his inner geek, what I almost consider his birthright, considering who his parents are. These television shows and movies have so much more to offer him, and other children lucky enough to have parents that will expose them to it, than most of the fare directed at them.
My son – my firstborn, my light, the apple of my eye – began preschool this past Monday. What few there will know is that his education started years ago. One might even say it started while I was still pregnant with him. From watching episode after episode of Stargate SG-1 on those long nights when sleep eluded me, either from simply being too uncomfortable to sleep, or when he simply refused to go down himself; to watching him perk up upon hearing the theme to Doctor Who, my three-year-old minimonster has been learning at my side what it means to embrace creativity – in other words, embrace his inner geek, what I almost consider his birthright, considering who his parents are. These television shows and movies have so much more to offer him, and other children lucky enough to have parents that will expose them to it, than most of the fare directed at them.
I’ve loved watching him grow attached to these characters, seeing him point the Doctor out, or insist that he is Batman or Superman (right before, he launches himself off the trampoline at his grandparents’ house onto his unsuspecting father’s back, stopping the hearts of every adult in the vicinity until we were sure my husband had him). He likes to pick up sticks and make-believe it is a sword, chasing after all the imaginary ‘bad guys’ he sees. It’s such a joy to see the many ways his mind works, and know that it, at least partly, comes from the exposure of characters that he wants to emulate. Characters such as the Doctor, Superman, Optimus Prime, and countless others, staples in timeless stories rooted in what would be considered ‘geekdom’, pave the way for children to find their place in their own battle of good versus bad.
He has his moments of obstinacy, of course – he’s a toddler, a three-year-old with a mind of his own and an independent streak a mile long. But he wants to be like these heroes of his, and I think that it’s a good jumping-off point, in so many ways that will begin to teach him what it means to be a human with free will in this world. Unlike fairy tales – at least the ones we have today, that have been cleaned up and made ‘happy ever after’ for the consumption of children – the worlds that we geeks embrace are rife with a common thread: that life is not always fair, that the good guys do not always win – but that doesn’t mean the good guys stop fighting. Out of so many lessons that good science-fiction and fantasy has to offer, I think this might be the most important one, because every other lesson can come back to it. One day, my little boy will be faced with choices, that will determine paths he will follow in his life, and I want him to have this structure to look back on, those heroes that teach him that just because he’s down, doesn’t mean he’s out, and that choosing the right path might not always be the easiest, but it’ll be the one with the most reward in the end.
I firmly believe that his beginning education in what we commonly call ‘the fandoms’ will result in his being less likely to be a bully; that he will be drawn to helping those who might not be able to help themselves, and that he will embrace the differences of others, because that is what the protagonists in these worlds do. The good guys tell him to help others out no matter what the cost. I know that one day, that cost might be my son coming home with a black eye because he dared to stand up for someone weaker than himself and the person picking on them – and you know what? I’m okay with that. Oh, I’ll be madder than a hornet’s nest, but I’ll be proud of my boy.
These are the lessons that we, as geeks, learn firsthand, and better than anyone, because we are usually the weaker, the ones getting picked on. We’re the ones getting singled out and shoved aside. At least, we were. Things are shifting and changing to the point that geekdom is becoming more welcome. It’s becoming cool to like comics, to enjoy the worlds that fantasy creates. It’s cool to be intelligent and creative. I’m glad that that is the world my children are entering, but I still remember how it was for me – getting picked on because I wasn’t particularly athletic, or classically pretty, certainly not ‘cheerleader’ material. So I don’t want my children to focus on being ‘cool’. I want for them to focus on the lessons that the heroes in the stories they love teach – that the world can turn on you at any given moment, and all you have to guide you is what your morals teach. Life is not fair, but you can make it to where you have nothing to regret.
So as I watch my son get on the bus to go to school today, wearing his favorite Superman shirt and the Justice League backpack that he picked out, I am hopeful. I know the area that we live in doesn’t exactly make it the best place for a boy who doesn’t see anything wrong with losing himself in a made-up world, but I’m actually hopeful that that will be better for him, that he will see and understand the one thing he has to learn himself: so long as he is true to himself, so long as he is someone that he is proud to be, that is all that matters. The opinions of others cannot define him unless he allows them to. And that’s something that Superman, Batman, the Doctor, Optimus, and so many others that he looks up to would never do.
He has his moments of obstinacy, of course – he’s a toddler, a three-year-old with a mind of his own and an independent streak a mile long. But he wants to be like these heroes of his, and I think that it’s a good jumping-off point, in so many ways that will begin to teach him what it means to be a human with free will in this world. Unlike fairy tales – at least the ones we have today, that have been cleaned up and made ‘happy ever after’ for the consumption of children – the worlds that we geeks embrace are rife with a common thread: that life is not always fair, that the good guys do not always win – but that doesn’t mean the good guys stop fighting. Out of so many lessons that good science-fiction and fantasy has to offer, I think this might be the most important one, because every other lesson can come back to it. One day, my little boy will be faced with choices, that will determine paths he will follow in his life, and I want him to have this structure to look back on, those heroes that teach him that just because he’s down, doesn’t mean he’s out, and that choosing the right path might not always be the easiest, but it’ll be the one with the most reward in the end.
I firmly believe that his beginning education in what we commonly call ‘the fandoms’ will result in his being less likely to be a bully; that he will be drawn to helping those who might not be able to help themselves, and that he will embrace the differences of others, because that is what the protagonists in these worlds do. The good guys tell him to help others out no matter what the cost. I know that one day, that cost might be my son coming home with a black eye because he dared to stand up for someone weaker than himself and the person picking on them – and you know what? I’m okay with that. Oh, I’ll be madder than a hornet’s nest, but I’ll be proud of my boy.
These are the lessons that we, as geeks, learn firsthand, and better than anyone, because we are usually the weaker, the ones getting picked on. We’re the ones getting singled out and shoved aside. At least, we were. Things are shifting and changing to the point that geekdom is becoming more welcome. It’s becoming cool to like comics, to enjoy the worlds that fantasy creates. It’s cool to be intelligent and creative. I’m glad that that is the world my children are entering, but I still remember how it was for me – getting picked on because I wasn’t particularly athletic, or classically pretty, certainly not ‘cheerleader’ material. So I don’t want my children to focus on being ‘cool’. I want for them to focus on the lessons that the heroes in the stories they love teach – that the world can turn on you at any given moment, and all you have to guide you is what your morals teach. Life is not fair, but you can make it to where you have nothing to regret.
So as I watch my son get on the bus to go to school today, wearing his favorite Superman shirt and the Justice League backpack that he picked out, I am hopeful. I know the area that we live in doesn’t exactly make it the best place for a boy who doesn’t see anything wrong with losing himself in a made-up world, but I’m actually hopeful that that will be better for him, that he will see and understand the one thing he has to learn himself: so long as he is true to himself, so long as he is someone that he is proud to be, that is all that matters. The opinions of others cannot define him unless he allows them to. And that’s something that Superman, Batman, the Doctor, Optimus, and so many others that he looks up to would never do.