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by Mj Rain
If aliens, yes those glowing little green men, were to descend from the outer reaches of space, they might just find Earth’s humanity to be quite a paranoid bunch of coconuts. Are old wives tales the result of foolish paranoia gone amok, or is there more to them than meets the eye?
This April Fool’s Day, I’ll be reviewing some old wives tales and I’ll also be considering how high the foolish level actually goes. For this particular sort of analysis, I’ll be using the Fool’s-Ometer Scale of Skiving Snack Boxes. This is a highly sophisticated device that measures on a scale of one to five Skiving Snack boxes, which were created by the Weasley twins. These awesome parcels contained Fainting Fancies, Fever Fudge, Nosebleed Nougat, and Puking Pastilles. Very handy for any Hogwarts student looking to ditch class.
I’m not going to talk about the usual suspects like crossing the path of a black cat, breaking mirrors, walking beneath ladders, and stepping on cracks in the sidewalk. No, I’m going to look at some of the lesser daily remembered.
If aliens, yes those glowing little green men, were to descend from the outer reaches of space, they might just find Earth’s humanity to be quite a paranoid bunch of coconuts. Are old wives tales the result of foolish paranoia gone amok, or is there more to them than meets the eye?
This April Fool’s Day, I’ll be reviewing some old wives tales and I’ll also be considering how high the foolish level actually goes. For this particular sort of analysis, I’ll be using the Fool’s-Ometer Scale of Skiving Snack Boxes. This is a highly sophisticated device that measures on a scale of one to five Skiving Snack boxes, which were created by the Weasley twins. These awesome parcels contained Fainting Fancies, Fever Fudge, Nosebleed Nougat, and Puking Pastilles. Very handy for any Hogwarts student looking to ditch class.
I’m not going to talk about the usual suspects like crossing the path of a black cat, breaking mirrors, walking beneath ladders, and stepping on cracks in the sidewalk. No, I’m going to look at some of the lesser daily remembered.
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Mirrors Attract Lightning: According to the tale, if your home is caught in a thunderstorm and you don’t have the mirrors covered, they will attract the lightning. The lightning then strikes your home, burning it down.
I can’t imagine covering every mirror in foolish paranoia every single time it storms. Living in Iowa, I’m in the United States Midwest, and the north center of Tornado Alley. That’s a lot of storms every year. Being that we still have yet to have our home struck by lightning, it’s safe to say this tale is a most foolish one. I can only imagine it started at a kitchen table somewhere, surrounded by some very paranoid housewives.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 4 Skiving Snack boxes.
Mothers and Spiders: My mom used to tell me this Finnish tale throughout my entire childhood and sticks firmly to it when she refuses to kill a spider. Her mother, who was only Finnish, was the one who drilled it into her head. According to my grandmother Lillian, if you kill a spider, then you’re also killing your mother.
I would rather feel the Cruciatus Curse than have a spider anywhere on my body. My mom on the other hand, is out of her ever loving mind. She once had a pet spider living in the corner of our living room in the ceiling, unbeknownst to the rest of us, all because of this nutty tale. That spider could have been a Black Widow, murdering us all in our sleep and turning us all into the biggest feast of its life. Meanwhile, my grandmother passed away four score and seven years ago, that she’s so afraid she’s going to kill her.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 3 Skiving Snack boxes.
I can’t imagine covering every mirror in foolish paranoia every single time it storms. Living in Iowa, I’m in the United States Midwest, and the north center of Tornado Alley. That’s a lot of storms every year. Being that we still have yet to have our home struck by lightning, it’s safe to say this tale is a most foolish one. I can only imagine it started at a kitchen table somewhere, surrounded by some very paranoid housewives.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 4 Skiving Snack boxes.
Mothers and Spiders: My mom used to tell me this Finnish tale throughout my entire childhood and sticks firmly to it when she refuses to kill a spider. Her mother, who was only Finnish, was the one who drilled it into her head. According to my grandmother Lillian, if you kill a spider, then you’re also killing your mother.
I would rather feel the Cruciatus Curse than have a spider anywhere on my body. My mom on the other hand, is out of her ever loving mind. She once had a pet spider living in the corner of our living room in the ceiling, unbeknownst to the rest of us, all because of this nutty tale. That spider could have been a Black Widow, murdering us all in our sleep and turning us all into the biggest feast of its life. Meanwhile, my grandmother passed away four score and seven years ago, that she’s so afraid she’s going to kill her.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 3 Skiving Snack boxes.
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Hockey Jersey: My friend Linda gave me this Tale. She says she won’t wear her New York Rangers (NHL Team) Jersey on a game day unless she’s attending an actual game.
Let me fill you all in. I’m a crazy-true-blue-die-hard-love-my-team-for-eternity type of New York Rangers fan, but Linda is the QUEEN Rangers fan. For her, this superstition couldn’t possibly be more perfect.
I used to always wear my jerseys on game days, until I hung them up in the closet. I probably won’t wear mine until I do go to another game again, just because the one is so valuable with all of the signatures. But, for the fans like Linda, I can see how they would feel like they’re jinxing the team. It might actually explain why when I was wearing my beloved jersey, the team was absolutely nothing to write home about. I haven’t worn my jersey in years on a game day and last year they made it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals. The more I think about this tale, the spookier it gets. I think, for the remainder of the Season/Post-Season, I’m going to leave my jersey in the closet.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 1 Skiving Snack Box
A Death Wish: I’m sure I’m not the only one who believes this, but I hold strong that when you out loud and verbally wish a person dead, it will boomerang back.
I have never been an outrageously superstitious person that I can remember. I’m the kind of creature who will think nothing of walking beneath a ladder, yet refuse to ever climb one. This particular Old Wives Tale though, it shivers my timbers. When you say something, anything, you’re casting it out into the cosmic universe. Along with it goes your intent and once they’re out there, you can never get them back. Imagine if everything in the universe truly was connected from one thing, moment, or event to the next. Eventually, your death wish would inevitably find its way back to you.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 5 Skiving Snack Boxes
The Evil Eye: My eldest friends, P and G, gave me completely opposite takes on this Old Wives Tale!
In the Turkish culture, they believe the Evil Eye to ward off any and all kinds of negative energy. Growing up I spent a lot of time in P’s home, and the evil eye was all around their apartment, especially the doorways. The Turkish Evil Eye is usually very beautiful and made of glass, with a sort-of bull’s eye painted onto it.
In the Italian culture, they believe the Evil Eye to be a bearer of any and all negative energy. It’s perceived and believed to be a sort of energy that is always there just waiting and watching. Me, P, and G all grew up together and as far back as I can remember, G’s mom was extremely superstitious. I personally, have always loved it!
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 4 Skiving Snack Boxes (Due to not knowing which way to go!)
What is your favorite Old Wives Tale, or Superstition?
Let me fill you all in. I’m a crazy-true-blue-die-hard-love-my-team-for-eternity type of New York Rangers fan, but Linda is the QUEEN Rangers fan. For her, this superstition couldn’t possibly be more perfect.
I used to always wear my jerseys on game days, until I hung them up in the closet. I probably won’t wear mine until I do go to another game again, just because the one is so valuable with all of the signatures. But, for the fans like Linda, I can see how they would feel like they’re jinxing the team. It might actually explain why when I was wearing my beloved jersey, the team was absolutely nothing to write home about. I haven’t worn my jersey in years on a game day and last year they made it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals. The more I think about this tale, the spookier it gets. I think, for the remainder of the Season/Post-Season, I’m going to leave my jersey in the closet.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 1 Skiving Snack Box
A Death Wish: I’m sure I’m not the only one who believes this, but I hold strong that when you out loud and verbally wish a person dead, it will boomerang back.
I have never been an outrageously superstitious person that I can remember. I’m the kind of creature who will think nothing of walking beneath a ladder, yet refuse to ever climb one. This particular Old Wives Tale though, it shivers my timbers. When you say something, anything, you’re casting it out into the cosmic universe. Along with it goes your intent and once they’re out there, you can never get them back. Imagine if everything in the universe truly was connected from one thing, moment, or event to the next. Eventually, your death wish would inevitably find its way back to you.
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 5 Skiving Snack Boxes
The Evil Eye: My eldest friends, P and G, gave me completely opposite takes on this Old Wives Tale!
In the Turkish culture, they believe the Evil Eye to ward off any and all kinds of negative energy. Growing up I spent a lot of time in P’s home, and the evil eye was all around their apartment, especially the doorways. The Turkish Evil Eye is usually very beautiful and made of glass, with a sort-of bull’s eye painted onto it.
In the Italian culture, they believe the Evil Eye to be a bearer of any and all negative energy. It’s perceived and believed to be a sort of energy that is always there just waiting and watching. Me, P, and G all grew up together and as far back as I can remember, G’s mom was extremely superstitious. I personally, have always loved it!
Fool’s-Ometer Rating: 4 Skiving Snack Boxes (Due to not knowing which way to go!)
What is your favorite Old Wives Tale, or Superstition?
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