Having worked on reality TV shows as well as infomercials, I know that dishonesty is a constant in the entertainment industry.
(In fact, I'm always struck how Hollywood types, who wallow in one of the most back-stabbing, dishonest, unethical and truly sleazy businesses this side of jail-bait porn, produce an endless stream of PSAs telling the rest of us how to live our lives.)
No better example of this can be found than the late Ted Demme's Life. Life stars Eddie Murphy and Martian Lawrence and is billed as a madcap prison romp in the mould of Stir Crazy. The story concerns two African American men who are framed for murder and unjustly sentenced to life in prison.
It's a good picture, a solid tale of how these men first rebel, then adapt, then finally accept and come to terms with the shitty hand they've been dealt. But it's not funny. It's not funny in the least. It's searing, heart-rending and tragic. But you know what? Tragic doesn't sell so well for an Eddie Murphy movie and when you're a studio executive desperate to get some of that money you shelled out to pay your star's monstrous salaries back, you're going to say whatever the hell you think needs to be said to sell tickies.
In the same vein of "awesome movie that's not a comedy" is Billy Elliot. Billy Elliot is a great picture that moved me to tears. Now I'm not sure what the ad campaign was over in the UK, but in America (for the DVD release at least) the copy stressed how uplifting, joyous, funny and energetic the movie was.
The film is actually pretty damned grim. Other than Billy's exuberant "dancing all over the mill town" sequence, it was mostly humorless, dark scenes wallowing in human tragedy of every imaginable type. I'm not sure what was "uplifting" or "joyous" about that scene where Terrance Stamp decides to break the strike he and his fellow laborers have launched against the evil factory where they work in order to pay for Billy's dancing lessons. Brutal and emotionally devastating might have been a better term. Just saying.
Which brings us to Adventureland. Stuck on a rainy Sunday with nothing to see, the family and I trooped off to catch the "wacky comedy" Adventureland which chronicles the depraved goings-on at a small, independent amusement park somewhere in Pennsylvania. The trailer did everything in its power to make it look like a comedy, basically by packing in every mildly amusing bit the film had to offer into two and a half minutes.
The first clue that something was amiss came during the opening credits when the Miramax logo came up. I leaned over and whispered to my son. "We've been had! This is an indie."
And it is. And not a particularly good one. Is anyone else in the world sick of the "awkward teenager coming out of his shell" story? I know I am.
But Adventureland filmmaker Greg Mottola can't be blamed. He didn't write the ad copy, he just made another overly serious coming of age film. Plus he did give us Superbad which may not be a great movie (the Seth Rogan scenes are as annoying as body lice) but does have that amazing Jonah Hill "I used to draw dicks" scene. In fact, if anyone needs a reference for what is funny and what isn't, watch your movie, then watch the "I used to draw dicks scene." Notice what is happening during the "I used to draw dicks" scene. That sound coming out of your mouth is laughter. If that same sound wasn't coming out of your mouth during your movie, then it's not funny and you shouldn't bill it as a fucking comedy.
We're talking about The Way Way Back which is the latest "Steve Carell has to prove how much range he has by playing a douche" flick. This is another awkward teen story only instead of most of the action taking place in an amusement park, the filmmakers made the bold, creative leap of having most of the action take place in a water park.
Amazon Instant Video synopsis bills it as "hilarious." But again, the opening credits give it away as the Fox Searchlight logo comes up. Fox Searchlight = Indie. The first scene confirms the diagnosis. It's nasty, ugly and pretty much tells you there's not going to be anything hilarious in this picture. No one is going to draw any dicks.
Rather than hilarious, it's another angst-ridden "awkward teen finding himself" movie. I know all you indie filmmakers were awkward teens. I was an awkward teen. We got bullied and picked last in gym class. So what. FUCKING GET OVER IT. NO ONE CARES.
The picture does raise one interesting issue, a story element that screenwriting geeks sometimes call "the unattainable." It's a seemingly impossible feat that the protagonist will need to conquer in order to succeed. Think Blades of Glory, there's that crazy but impossible skating move (I don't remember what it was called) that the guys risk their lives to learn. By attaining the unattainable, they conquer their enemies and win the day. Or The Dark Knight Rises, the literal leap of faith that Bruce Wayne must make to escape Bain's dungeon. Or Nacho Libre when Nacho finds the inner strength to achieve the unachievable, and beat his former hero, super-wrestler Ramses,in a match.
The Way Way Back uses the same device, an impossible feat introduced early on that the protagonist will achieve by film's end. And what is this earth-shattering achievement? It's passing someone inside the tunnel of a water-slide. That's it. Passing someone in a waterslide is the big moment of the film when our hero proves he's grown into his own.
And, as previously noted, it's not funny.
If only he had drawn some dicks, instead.